Surrender

It's been a while since my last post. But honestly, I haven't had much to say.

Until today.

When I set out on this adventure I was excited and scared but felt that this is what God wanted me to do. So I did it. The journey taught me that I need to surrender my life to God. That He is much better at planning my life than I could ever be.

So when my principal offered me a position as a Kindergarten teacher for the next academic year (August 2009 - June 2010), I had to think carefully and prayerfully about it. If God wanted me here, then He would make it clear. I accepted the position but there were still a few formalities that needed to be sorted out - I hadn't attended the Gateway course in Texas (mandatory for all crew serving 9 months or more). To stay an extra year, I would need to be formally excused from Gateway. I remember sitting in the meeting saying: I do not have the means to go to Texas but I know that anything is possible.

I should also mention that the thought of Gateway stressed me out. It involves a week of basic safety training (read: firefighting) that I just DID NOT see myself doing. In the weeks leading up to this, my feeling towards Gateway changed. I felt like this was something I could possibly do. To be honest, I felt like God had given me a peace about the fact that I would attend Gateway at some point, so I had to surrender to it.

Then at the start of this week I was given the opportunity to stay with Mercy Ships for two more years (until August 2010) and have the cost of the flight to Texas paid for.

Was this God opening doors? I know it was.

While I was praying and thinking about whether or not to accept this offer, I came across Luke 14:25 - 33. I heard it again the next morning in a devotion. This passage of Scripture is entitled 'The Cost of Being a Disciple'. It says:

25Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 26"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. 27And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
28"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? 29For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, 30saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.' 31"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. 33In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.

This passage spoke directly to me. It reminded me of how faithful God was initially and how He will always be.

I have learnt that surrendering to God is a conscious and daily decision. My life has changed drastically since I starting surrendering to God. And I love it.